That’s why you’ve likely found yourself bouncing back and forth many times wondering “do they love me or hate me?” It’s a lot easier to believe this is not intentional and that the narcissist is not in control of their emotions and actions – but these actions are calculated.
Like the interrogator, narcissists interpret emotions like love, openness, kindness, and generosity as weaknesses. And if you give an inch, they’ll take a mile, back up, and drive the same mile over and over until you’re pulling your hair out.
How to Shield Yourself from Their Harmful Words or Actions
The first step is to recognize when the narcissist is utilizing cognitive empathy to achieve their goals. In the beginning, this isn’t easy because you’re human and apt to respond to perceived kindness with kindness.