What No Contact Really Is – And What It Isn’t
No Contact is not a game or a ploy to get a person back into our lives; this technique has been misrepresented in many dating books and blogs as a way to “manipulate” a person into coming back to us. We should not desire to have people who have mistreated us back into our lives. On the contrary, No Contact is a way to remove this abusive person’s toxic influence so we can live happier, healthier lives while cultivating our authentic selves and minimizing people-pleasing. No Contact is the key that locks out that person from ever entering our heart, mind, and spirit in any palpable way again.
I understand that not everyone can go No Contact with their abusers. Some people may have narcissists in their family, for example, that they feel they cannot cut all ties with. Others may be forced to co-parent with a narcissist. In those cases, you can still adapt some of the suggestions below to your specific situation. If you are in a situation where you must remain in contact with an ex-partner for legal issues or because of children, keep in low contact (minimum communication) and use the Grey Rock method of communication if this person has narcissistic (NPD) or antisocial (ASPD) traits.